CALGON Take ME AWAY!!!!

Came home from work to find A) Grumpy Bear aka Hubby had worked his tail end off ALL DAY and was well,  grumpy extremely tired and exhausted.  And his accomplishment - he got the water back on!  Only to have the pressure switch on the well quit..........................................

Now I may be a Bear of Very Little Brain but the ONE THING I've learned living Sixty Miles North of Nowhere is to keep an extra Pressure Switch (and maybe two) on hand!!  (Pat myself on the back here. Note - replace it TOMORROW)


The whole house has....well,,,,,er....an aroma.  Like a still plugged sewer line, like a decaying frozen whale in the bathroom.  You know it smells like shit not exactly like an air freshener.   I need a semi load of Febreeze.

The bathroom commode (along with every other drain in the house) is still non-functioning, nada, zip, zilch, ZERO, FROZEN shut.  So even though we at least have livestock water, we cannot use it in the house............................oh well.

Perhaps tomorrow said Pollyanna.

And on that end I did discover NOW was not the time to say "And how did your day go, Dear?" Nah, I didn't do that.  I KNOW better. Ever notice how we as young brides were prone to do stupid crap like that?  Not anymore....with wisdom comes age. The only damn benefit to getting old.

 I tell him I was a good investment - I grew every year!!!!! I

am twice the woman I was in 1973. Come to think of it, it was 
below zero the day this picture was taken.  

Doesn't it EVER Warm up in Wyoming???
NOPE.

Well I have to go -- outside---quite literally....give me a minute.

Ah back now.  Which brings up a question, what do eskimos do?  Do they have an igloo outhouse?  Is it white inside????   Hmmmm inquiring minds want to know.  And how do they keep from getting butt cheek frostbite?  I would think that could be one situation where 'layering' clothing was NOT your friend.  Think of trying to pull up all those layers in a hurry at 50 below.....I'd get mixed up and walk like a hog-tied penguin for the rest of the day.

But I digress. Eskimos have their own problems and I have mine.

I have noticed how my page visits have SHOT UP since my shitter quit.  Is this the secret to blogging success?  Are you all tuned in to see if I will survive the lack of a commode?

Or slap the crap out of Grumpy Bear and blame him like that dysfunctional chick on Teen Mom? It's your fault Gary. It's your fault Gary.  Gimme a break here Amber.

Maybe I have the material here for a new sitcom.  Two People and A Half Commode.  Well in our case it is still NO Commode.

Seriously, I do find the event of having my own waste come up in my bathtub rather distasteful.  Thank you very much Rotten Miserable Power Company.  You might think you had me fooled with your nice timely phone recorded messages. "Our power crews are working on the problem.  We are aware of the outage in the your area and 320 customers are affected.  We estimate your power will be restored at __________(pick a time because they ALWAYS called back and extended it another two hours)."

And 18 hours later - "Your power should have been restored at 2:47 pm.  If not, please call this number.  This outage was caused by SNOW."  WHAT????  What snow - we had only gotten about an inch at this point.  Your system cannot take an inch of snow? Or 13 below zero which is common at North of Nowhere? 

Oh yeah, I forgot.  As your recorded messages came in on my phone, at first it was 320 households without power, then 120, then finally 27 --- AH HA.  That's the number of users on MY FEEDER LINE - My 60 year old feeder line (I kid you not folks, the power line was built in the early 1950's. I still cannot believe they charged us almost $10,000 for 3 spans 10 years ago to hook into that crap piece of line).  And you guys just told me you traced the entire outage to that line in a 1" SNOWSTORM!!

Here's a clue Rotten Miserable Power Company - maybe you need to REPLACE that line. (I used to work for a power company that built private power lines so I know a thing or two here guys.  You need to get up earlier to pull the wool over my eyes.  I didn't fall off the tomato truck yesterday you know.)

Well the blogging adventure continues....thanks for all your comments guys.  I read every one of them several times and tell myself, ah ha, someone else has gone through this.  They lived through it, and so shall I.

I will do as they say - "TIE A KNOT IN THE ROPE"

(Only I will be on the other end of it - you know who Power Company will be on this end).

Fill Yer Hands Pilgrims!

You thought John Wayne was tough?  Well take a gander at how I've been LIVING for the past several days.

Bad Weather? -- (see previous post)  HA, no!  It was ten gazillion times WORSE.  First our power went out at 9:30 pm on Sunday.  And wasn't restored until 3 pm on Monday.  Know what happens when your power goes out on a frigid minus 13 below zero night?  EVERY BLOOMIN' THING YOU OWN FREEZES AND STAYS FROZE! Including the darn generator.

So we lost the use of our propane furnace (electronics need electricity to run!), no water as the well pump was down (no dripping/running faucets to keep the house from freezing up), no tank heaters for the livestock so all their water froze too.  The one thing we DID have?  The backup battery for the pellet stove.  The goals the first night? No. 1 -Stretch the battery as long as possible so no one had to recharge it during the middle of night (grumpy bear aka Hubby who KNEW the next day at work was not going to be a 'skate in the park' type of day)  and No. 2 - to retain a reasonable level of warmth in the house aka between 55 and 60 degrees.  Managed 58 the first night and six hours on the battery.

Morning of Day 2 - what to wear?  Layering is your Friend, your BEST Friend, two pairs of socks, long underwear, blue jeans, t-shirt, shirt, sweatshirt.

No water -- all lines are frozen and this will remain the status quo until warmer days.  No bath, limited tooth brushing.  Wet Wipes are your new cosmetic aid - ie Odor Control.

Coffee - you NEED Coffee.  YOU HAVE TO HAVE COFFEE.  With Sinking Feeling you realize stove top coffeemaker is at (gulp) mountain lot.  Exhausted from staying up all previous night cycling pellet stove on and off to preserve battery.  Discover the old touch of sleeping and waking at slight sound of baby (now pellet stove refilling burn pot) still with you.  Chair is NOT comfortable sleeping......YOU HAVE TO HAVE COFFEE.

Make coffee in saucepan.  Drink cup, gulp big mouthful of coffeegrounds.  Darn!! Swear first purchase as soon as you get to town after weather breaks is ANOTHER stove top coffeepot.  Need 2nd cup - try wrapping grounds in coffee filter and clamping shut with binder clip, soaking like tea bag.  WORKS!  Congratulate oneself on resourcefulness.  Make breakfast. 

 Pile dishes in sinks, resort to paper plates to lessen sink load.   Try to find recipes that do not begin take a clean pan......  Limit water intake (we haul our drinking water in 5 gallon bottles so have about 15 gallons on hand) as water = bathroom use.  Bathroom is dysfunctional cousin of outhouse with crapper but no flusher.  No. 2 takes on new (permanent stink) meaning.

Afternoon of Day 2 - Grumpy Bear recharged battery (using pickup) for pellet stove before leaving for work.  Goal for the day, stretch the battery till he gets home.  Twenty minutes on, forty minutes off.  Constant eye on thermometer.  Close off all extra rooms keeping heat in living, kitchen areas.  No TV, No internet, No Radio, NO NOTHING.  Learn to knit with supplies bought Months ago - have two million one hundred and three squares done by end of day.................watch fingers to make sure they don't freeze to knitting needles, balmy 56 degrees in domicile.  High temp for the day - a balmy 3 degrees below zero.  Dogs do not even want to go outside for duties.  Shitmire MacGuire doesn't, of COURSE! Clean with spray cleaner and paper towels.

Day 3 - Minus 30 degrees at 6 a.m. but blessed tank heater in horse tank is working;  tank is semi-thawed.  Water under thin layer of ice.  Hubby brings in blessed 15 gallons of horse tank water.  Flush both the crappers.

Check weather on internet - dang nothing is going to thaw out for two more days. High for today, seven degrees.  Low tonight? -10.  ENOUGH ALREADY. Crappy Weatherman!!!  Bad Man! Bad Man!  Check out beach vacations and dream of warmer days......Plan heavenly bath in horse tank water.  Hey - that's do-able!!!  See ya guys.  I'm heating water now!

I LOVE country living.........