Tips for Mothers: First of all if you cannot stand to see your #2 Son knocked senseless repeatedly, do not go to the games. Other than that, and the lifestyle that went with Rugby (which includes copious amounts of beer, lots of women, and more beer), I did enjoy the games. Frankly it made more sense to me than American Football. For one thing it was not a mish-mash of physical tackles, first downs, guys with chains, guys with flags, and all that stuff,. Nope, the moves in every rugby game were pretty much the same and consisted of:
1)Time Out.
#2 Son discovers drinking copious amounts of beer does not add up to Good Stamina.
(#2 is on the left clutching his knees and gasping )
2. the PILE- UP.
The Dog Pile--there's ball under there somewhere.And maybe #2 Son......
3. Discussion with Your Teammates...or AT THEM.
#2 Son doing what he always was good at -- Heated Discussions!
(He's a Lawyer now - go figure, huh?)
4) The Scrum.
A Scrum with the ball in the Center on the ground. Somehow they
figure out whose team gets the ball from this, but I'll
be jiggered if I can tell you HOW.
5) Pushing The Team - to get the ball moving forward towards a goal.
Yoo-Eeee-Ohhhh. PUSH THAT LOAD, PUSH THAT LOAD!
I enjoyed watching the games as the summer went by. We didn't go to them all but did manage to attend all the Home games at Nowhere.
AND THEN (oh you knew there was going to be an AND THEN didn't you?) someone made their first rugby goal. They all gathered around at the end of the game, (looked kinda like the Scrum) started chanting and stomping like aborginals on the African plains, AND THEN.....
A totally buck-naked rugby player dashed out from the "Zulu Dance" and ran pell mell around the goal posts which was about the length of a fifty-yard dash and headed back to the circle of the Zulu Dance and it's screening abilities in order to become presentable in polite society again.
My jaw was somewhere around my knees. After the Team congratulatory line .....
Apparently Modesty and Rugby Player does not go together.
I said to #2 Son, 'WHAT in the Sam-Hill was the deal with the naked guy?'
'Oh,' he replied. 'When you are a new player and make your first goal, you have to do the Zulu Dance, which is stripping in the center of the dance circle and making on lap around the goal post.'
"WAIT," I screamed. "Did you not tell me you made your first goal last week in the South of Somewhere Game?"
"Yeah," he replied with sly grin.
SON, Here's an epistle for you. Your Mother does NOT EVER want to see the Yoo-Hoo she used to diaper bouncing around a grassy field in front of one hundred people. NOT EVER. Got it?
