Thursday, January 5, 2017

Wyoming Winter Hints for the Woefully Under Informed

We are deep into a cold snap which seems to have lasted since well before Thanksgiving.  Christmas Day at Sixty Miles North of Nowhere arrived with snow and temps of 24 below zero.  A nice white cool day....

I feel compelled that perhaps I should explain a few things about Wyoming Winter to you:
My car after a few flakes of snow.........

1.  The term 'breezy' in the local weather report.   This means you will have category 1 hurricane force winds.  Be prepared to experience this from October 15th through April 24th.  Every day will be 'breezy' with sustained winds of 75 mph.

2.  Gusts - here again the weatherman will refer to breezy with gusts.  Gusts are a short burst of wind that will blow you, the dog, and your car into the next state east.  Usually Nebraska.  Sometimes South Dakota depending on your locale.

3.  Chilly - anything below zero degrees farenheit is 'chilly'.  Minus 24?  Your nose instantly froze shut and your lungs won't work? Chilly.

4.  Wind Chill - you multiply chilly with either breezy or gusts to get a minus degree temperature 'feels like' that is somewhere way south of the lowest point your thermometer reaches which is usually minus 50 degrees.  If you bought a wimpy outdoor thermometer.
2 below zero

5. Dress Appropriately - You look like the michlen tire man from wearing so much cold weather gear. Only look like the Pillsbury Dough Boy dressed for a Christmas Caroling?  Put more on, you are woefully under dressed for the 'chilly' weather.

6.  Pacs -  Term used for snow boots with felt liners and worn universally by men, women, children, and Yeti's in Wyolming.You don't need to go to the gym because you get plenty of aerobic just walking with 20 lbs of PAC boots on each foot.

7.  Block Heater - A handy device which attaches to your engine block on one end and your electrical outdoor outlet on the other.  It will warm the engine block enough in 'chilly' conditions to let it turn over and start.  It also warms the heart and pocketbook of the local electrical electrical company.  You make sure your engine heater is plugged in till the 4th of July. AND the horse who 'will unplug it in the middle of the night' is IN THE BARN.

8.  Christmas list - Your Christmas wish list included a new set of tire chains. What, Santa did not bring you tire chains.  Sorry, you are screwed.  Most certainly you will spend the winter 'high-centered'.

9.  High Centered -  Stuck, like up past your vehicle frame in snow.  Never to be 'unstuck' until mid-summer. Proper useage in a sentence: "((&#(&#@!! I'm high Centered!! (*&#@*#@!!!"

10. Gurneys - A gardening catalog every Wyoming household received about October. The Gurney people know ALL ABOUT impluse buying in the winter.  You are obsessessed with the Gurneys catalog beginning in January knowing they don't sell anything neat for a zone 3 climate zone. But you will order the zone 4's ever hopeful......................

11. Goals  - You don't dream about anything other than moving South, anywhere south as long as it's at least 2 climate zones.

12,  Native - Someone born in Wyoming who never achieve their goal of moving 'south' as they are still froze to the ground.  Here's my native when I snagged him 45 years ago.  It was both 'chilly' and 'breezy' when this picture was taken.  We are still frozen to this spot even though I'm not 'native.'

And that's my handy tips and definitions for the Woefully Under Informed about our Wonderful Wyoming Winters!  Hope you enjoyed.


  1. I am surprised you managed to get an internet connection with all the snow you have! Keep warm! Great post made be laugh. Hugs, Susie x

  2. Good to hear from you. I was wondering how you were doing in all this frigid weather. The high here in the desert was 33 degrees at 3:00 PM, and we think that is cold. Keep safe, and blog away.

  3. Another thought. My friend, Lynn, who lived near the Wind River Range, would lose her Internet or TV connection and have to go out in the snow and sweep the satellite dish clean.