Sunday, February 7, 2010

How to Live With Practically No Effort or Men and Cooking

Originator of LWPNE - Have your Native American Wife do it ALL!

Mention of the Rugby House (see prior Post) brought up some memories! Hubby doesn't cook, heck he just learned to boil water and make coffee two years ago and he is fifty-three!  #1 Son can cook but won't.  #2 Son does BBQ and BBQ........

Now I tried, I mean, I really tried to get the kids interested in cooking when they were younger and had them help me a few times.  But it became readily apparent that they found ME and THE KITCHEN as interesting as watching paint dry.  So I just chuckled and watched them struggle through Home Economics in junior high with the #1 Most Patient Teacher on Earth.  Bless her pea-pickin' heart because both #1 Son and #2 Son took her lessons to heart and learned to Live With Practically No Effort.

I really did not realize how adept #1 son had become to LWPNE (living with practically no effort) until he went to college and we went to visit him.   He proudly showed us where he lived (under the basement stairs in a 6' x 9' space in an old decrepit house with umpteen other boys).  I politely pointed out to him that I knew of people in third world countries who lived in better conditions and were not relying on student loans and family generosity for living expenses --  in this case defined as  beer money (more on that below).  I found out such living arrangements are one of the basic rules of LWPNE.

Then Hubby and I discovered the #2 rule - food with no effort.  He showed us what he was eating -- a 5# bag of russett potatoes (you can microwave in four minutes) a tub of butter, a loaf of bread and peanut butter and instant oatmeal.  THAT WAS IT! as I recall except for a well stocked refrigerator of beer and a bottle of whiskey.  He assured us that was not on his menu (right and I fell off the tomato truck yesterday, son!)

#2 Son had learned his LWPNE lessons well too.  He moved into the RUGBY HOUSE during college (that's whole other story but I don't think the Blog Police will let me accurately describe it) with umpteen jillion little beer-swilling (okay now I'm searching for a word for the room-mates but none I want in print comes to mind. but you get the picture).  I never asked about the menu/food arrangements because the home-made beer experiment had blown up on the stove and was all over the kitchen plus the pizza box had caught fire from the pilot light the previous night and the kitchen had all the remains of that too. Gotta give someone credit though.  They had thrown the blackend burned box into the trash.   Which brings me to Rule #3.

Rule #3 of LWPNE is housekeeping optional at least for two years.  Hopefully by then you will have moved out.

Rule #4 - Laundry goes home to Mother if at all possible or at least until she catches on and makes YOU do your own.  Bummer......

My Vision of my kids' future during their college years.  

I was a Mom - I was worried.  Hubby assured me it wasn't that bad.  After all, he had an apartment, roommates, etc during college.  OH MY GOSH -- The light bulb went on. IT'S GENETIC!   Somebody QUICK hire a therapist for the grandkids!!!!


  1. I can't stop laughing at the photo of your vision of our future during our college years. I don't see anything wrong with it...they look happy to me!!!

  2. Amazing how everything turns out so well when we are worried. It's hard being a Mom. Great post!

  3. I had girls, and they were not much for cooking in their high school or college days either. I swear one of them didn't even know how to fold towels..I always said that she puts everything on hangers even towels. However they do see to survive. One thing I have observed..after the grands come along..the parents do learn to cook.

    This was a really cute post and I really enjoyed it:)